An Artist Who Wants Your Water Running Clear with Sam Stokes | 257

Max Nijst: Welcome to the Fearless Happiness Podcast, where we showcase phenomenal individuals who have overcome serious traumas, life obstacles, and challenges to find their own path to fearless happiness. Listen as Max Naist invites guests from all around the world to share their experiences and spread strength, hope, and faith. This is the Fearless Happiness Podcast. And this is Max Naist. All right, everybody. Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, wherever you are in this world. This is Max from the Fearless Happiness Podcast, coming back to you today with another special and amazing guest, my neighbor to the north, Sam Stokes. But what I like to do, Sam, is have you introduce yourself to my audience, like who you are, what it is you do, and then you and I are gonna rock and roll. Okay, awesome. Cool. My name is Sam Stokes. I am an artist and a musician and Like I love to say, ⁓ visionary, I believe that so oftentimes the artists in our community are the ones that kind of see ideas and visions and ways that we can live, ⁓ to just have, you know, ⁓ the the most beautiful and ⁓ cohesive and collaborative ⁓ way of existing. So yeah, I really try to tap into that space and and really hold that space within music and just within the conversations and things that I like to share ⁓ on social media and on my website. All right. I love that, right? And you know, and you and I were talking, I said I love having, you know, artists, musicians, ⁓ on my podcast, right? Because I love one, I love hearing their story, what got them into music and stuff like that. So that's what I like to start with. Like I I don't say problems or struggles. I always say, tell us about some of the struggles. See, I just said it. The challenges, sorry, that you have gone through in your life, right? That have brought you and what and what got you into music and who's and those challenges that have shaped who you are today. Yeah. ⁓ I'm very lucky to be one of those ⁓ kids that grew up with a bunch of musicians. So folks who musician, grandparents, uncles, aunts, like a lot of musicians, you know, if there was a family trade, That was it. So a lot of music around all the time. And through that though, you know, definitely experienced my fair share of heartbreak, right? Definitely experienced my fair share of grief and loss. And one of the things that I I really did want to share and talk about today was a little bit my journey with ⁓ trauma and specifically what that kind of healing journey looks like through PTSD and through trauma without being ⁓ to triggering 'cause I like to be really mindful of those who might be watching this or maybe right in the middle of of their own kind of healing journey. I don't like to be overly detailed or overly you know graphic, but just in a broad sense, ⁓ in twenty twenty I was at a friend's house. We were just having coffee and ⁓ we found his roommate and a friend of mine ⁓ deceased from a drug overdose. And it was so unexpected. I ⁓ have not been ⁓ the type that's been ⁓ you know, under substance abuse and that hasn't been something that's been on my journey personally. I don't drink and it's kind of never interested me that much, you know, all that kind of stuff. It just it so it wasn't something that I was like in that myself, but being right next to it and right adjacent to it. And it was so unexpected. it really was a completely like, if you looked up textbook, like what's a traumatic event, it was like, this is it. And ⁓ it was about six months of like I would say probably hardcore like PTSD, like couldn't get more than two hours of sleep, couldn't like focus that much, ⁓ just like really anxious and shaky and And it was also kind of connected to ⁓ this interesting sort of spiritual side of it, which was, you know, the day before it happened, I was like crying in my parents' ⁓ kitchen saying something terrible is about to happen. And it looked at me like I was crazy. And I was like, no, I can really feel something terrible is about to happen. And then the next day I was like, shake it off. It's a new day. Like. Never mind, let's get this cup of coffee. We're just gonna go have a nice afternoon. Like let's not worry about that and, you know, insert traumatic event. And ⁓ it it was ⁓ I think what I wanted to kind of share and then talk about today, especially too, was what that process looked like for me in terms of like how did I move through that? Because I had a lot of advice from people saying, just ignore it, build up a wall, try to pretend it didn't happen. Like there was a lot of like don't feel your feelings. There was a lot of just ⁓ distract yourself with something else. And I was like, no, I really want to move through this. And the image that I kept having was like, ⁓ I wanna move through this until the water runs cleared, right? I was like, I want to allow this and it brought up all these other events and all these other triggers, right? It was it brought up all these other feelings. And I just kept thinking, like, no, I I really wanna move through this. And we were talking a little earlier about, you know, how your process I think was it's not necessarily connected to God. It's not necessarily like a religious or spiritual process, like the the process of going through that. But for me what was fascinating was that in that journey, I kind of grew up with this very agnostic or atheistic kind of perspective. I was a little bit curious, like, hey, you know, is there a God or universe or what's going on? And that was maybe the first day when I was sitting in that garage and the paramedics are running around. We're sitting here for hours. And I heard God for the first time be like, you do not need any of this to access creative genius. And that was the thing that I think as a kid, I always felt that there was this mythos around being an artist. ⁓ if you want to be an artist and you want to be tapped in, right? You want to be a creative genius. You want to, it was always showing artists as like. They're always using substances, right? Right. That's the mythos. And they're genius and they're, you know, they have their thing. And and I just felt like, but I don't feel called to that, but I am called to the creativity. And I I felt like, is there it does one actually genuinely lead to the other? And and it was in that moment and on that day that I literally for the first time heard this thing from God. Just like, you don't need this to access that kind of. creative genius. Like you can you can access that flow, you can access that creativity just drinking a glass of water. It doesn't have to be ⁓ because that's that idea of like you're placing power outside of yourself. ⁓ this thing will make me smart or make me a genius. Right. I can't access for and it's like, wait, wait, wait, it's within you. You can do it, you know, right? So I I agree with you 100%, right? Because I have a little phrase that I put together that goes like this. You have everything you need to be great today. Yes. And right? And yeah, for me, definitely it was I fought how do I put this, right? It's because of God that my faith in God now that I'm over twenty two years clean and sober. Right. But when I got sober, I was of the o I was like, well if there was a God and he loved me, why would he let me go through this, right? Like every I I blame I blame my dead father, I blame my mother, I blame myself, I blamed everybody, but you know, first before I really took a long look at myself and said, ⁓ it wasn't my fault, right? And I'll give you an example, right? When in my addiction, because I'm a father of four, right? Like it took me to the depths where I would not like see my kids for nine years, right? It was so bad. And then when I got sober, I would sit with my my sponsor and I would tell him, you know, God loved me so much. You know, and I'm not what I like to say though is like I'm not trying to push on the audience anything God related or twelve step. I'm just we're sharing our experience here. And my experience was if God loved me, if there is a God out there, why did he take my children away? And my wise sponsor said, He goes, You gave them away. And God was protecting them. And I was like, ⁓ right. Like he would say things like that where I couldn't argue with them. And but see, and I believe you absolutely 100% when you say you don't need that stuff to be a a creative, right? Yeah. ⁓ I believe that whatever we all have a gift that we've been given, right? And I like to say a gift from God, right? And it's just our responsibility to find what that gift is and then share it with the world. In your case, it's music, right? And you're coming out and we'll talk about it. Your new album or your new ⁓ God, that makes me like date myself album. They don't even it is an album. It is an album. ⁓ I love it. ⁓ then I am gonna have to get an album because I haven't had an album in I don't know how many years, right? But you what I mean? Like, but I know some of the most creative people like yourself. None the people I know, none of them they got better once they put down the substances, right? Like they realized like that stuff was actually hindering their creativeness and their, you know what I mean? And whatever that is, you know, for me, I think my my my gift is connection, right? I I love connecting with people. I don't care if we're at the store and you're some little old lady. I'm gonna be like, hi, how are you doing? Right. And Or we're with Sam. I think that's the gift. That's what most people tell me. Your gift is connecting with other people. You it's easy. Like you could be at a restaurant, you just start talking to your person in the booth next to you or whatever. No. ⁓ but let's sh share let I want first people to understand, kind of like go over that ⁓ what we talked about before, like your healing process, how that looked for you, and then how you now you coming out with this album, how that's gonna help people heal. Yeah. Yes, yeah, absolutely. So ⁓ so there was kind of two big takeaways that I that I had. Well maybe actually three. There's three big takeaways that I had going through, let's say that like six months of really heavy PTSD where I was like I was just like hovering in my body, like two hours of sleep, night terrors. I'm a lucid dreamer, so it's like it was very intense, ⁓ reliving events and just like really just PTSD, right? And ⁓ there were three things that I felt were And I'm just gonna say, you know, it was like a guiding light or like because it wasn't coming from anything specifically. It was just like, I'm gonna move through this and I want to like move through this until the the water runs clear. And the the three things that ⁓ for me were really helpful, and this is what I would love to share in case somebody is like right now finding this thing was one, I just had to be extra kind and extra loving to myself. It was like drink. all the water, have really healthy food, like be very kind, very gentle, spend a lot of time outdoors, try to find things that were joyful and things that could like, you know, like being okay with I don't have to talk about this every day. I'm just gonna go find reasons to laugh. I'm gonna go find Ryan. You know, I'm gonna try and like gently allow this to exist and move through this. ⁓ with really loving myself. The the other thing that I thought for me felt like really strong ⁓ as a message was I think I will heal by serving others. And so I'd never I'd never had this ⁓ experience before, but I was like, I need to s I need to work at a restaurant. I need to go to a restaurant and I need to serve people. Right. It's almost like the the washing the feet of others. It's taking care of others. And not for this and it's not for this sense of like I'm ignoring my own problems to foc It's not that. It was more let me just get out of my head and just focus on other like very simple needs, right? I'm just focusing on can I do this? Can I do this? To just kind of create this. I have a regular thing that I'm going to. Here's this thing that I'm ⁓ able to serve others that just felt really, really important. And then The the last part which to me was I I never heard anybody talk about it this way, which is why I just felt so compelled to share this part of the story. ⁓ was because I am a lucid dreamer. I've had I can remember dreams from when I was three. I used to revisit them. I have very ⁓ vivid and exciting dreams. And ⁓ it's been one of my greatest pleasures and ⁓ also sometimes Challenges of like how do you wake up and be like, I just lived four days last night. Hold on, let me like process this and then kind of start the day. but as a result of this, you know, traumatic experience and then moving through like that PTSD phase, that part was really like it was really hard for me to go to sleep because it was like, ⁓ I'm gonna relive this. This is terrible. So I didn't really know, like, I don't even like to watch scary movies because I will. relive that scary movie in my dream for like a week and I will live it myself. So I'm just like, no, I'm not gonna put that in my subconscious. Like I I'm good. I don't need to do that. And I I found ⁓ the thing that really surprised me the most was ⁓ about six months, seven months into it, I had this dream where I relived that day. And I'd done this, you know, hundreds, if not thousands of times already, but this dream ⁓ I woke up with tears in my eyes and I'd never waken up like already crying, like like I woke up and there was already kind of tears. And I relived the dream where like everything was a little bit different. And again, I don't wanna be too graphic. I don't wanna ⁓ overshare, but it was like instead of, you know, seeing my friend on the bed, it was like he was already covered up, right? So instead of seeing him, it was like his his photo was there and his eyes were closed and he was peaceful. ⁓ it when we got out, it was like my friend's mom was there and she had a bunch of lasagna and was like, Here I'm you know, I have dinner and there was like these golden retriever puppies, like all excited and you could just like get this love and and it was like all of the things that would have made that day just like easier. It was in this dream and I realized that it was my subconscious saying, We're done. Like you don't have to relive this anymore. We're not gonna make you look at this dream again. You're done. And since then I literally have never had that dream ever again. It it's been five plus years. And it it was like so clear and such a clear knowing, so definitive. Like, okay, you the water has run clear. You have run through like you felt it. And for me, I think the thing that I've ⁓ personally have I've always tried to strive for is ⁓ if something triggers you, it means that there's a wound that is asking to be healed. Right? Because there's a lot of things that don't trigger us, but if something does trigger you, it's like, ⁓ you're just pushing right on that like open, ⁓ that's like salt right there. And you're like, ⁓ So ⁓ for me, I was like, you know what? I wanna be able to move through this experience and not be triggered that I'm not able to talk about it, right? I don't want to be able, I wanna be able to you know, experience it, learn from it, move through it with grace and compassion for myself and for others. And also, ⁓ I don't want this to be this thing that it's like I'm on eggshells for the rest of my life, which a lot of people can be, right? And Well, I'm sure we both know people like that who haven't healed from certain where you you don't even you look at ⁓ and you're like, I hope I don't say something that triggers them, or you know what I mean? Like you know because they haven't done the healing like you did. Or I did, right? Because and I love that you bring that up, right? Because what you said about building walls, right? Like people saying don't just ignore it, find it, that that's like the worst thing you can do because your subconscious already knows it's there and it's gonna eat at you every day, right? Until you can go down and go, Okay, you know, they're in a better place. I need to get into a better place. ⁓ yes, it's unfortunate that I had to see that. Right. Now I really know what the effects of drug addiction is, you know, all about. And but ignoring it, right? That's kind of how I got into my addiction, right? Going through uncomfortable feelings and going, you know what? I'm not gonna feel it. Right. I'm gonna do everything in my power to ignore it, right? While in the background it's getting stronger and stronger and stronger, right? And I felt There was this other part of it too that ⁓ I it just came back to my consciousness, but I just remember thinking, wow, I think that was in long term so healthy was on the day and right after it happened, it w I just felt this I was compelled to put the words in my mouth. That's what I just kept hearing was like, put the words in your mouth. You have to like speak this, because if you don't. Like it's gonna feel like it's this bigger and bigger wall that you have to overcome. And I am so lucky to have the coolest, most amazing brother in the whole world. And ⁓ he, you know, we have such a special relationship and being able to be there for like those hard conversations or those hard moments. And I just called him, you know, 20, 30 minutes after it happened. And I was just like unfiltered. Like I'm just gonna say exactly what happened, exactly so that I don't feel like I have to hold on to this and then in five years I'll be able to finally say it. It like, no, no, no. I wanna say it and just have said it. And then it was this amazing thing where it was like just doing that, and that could be a therapist, right? That could be but it was like just putting the words in my mouth. And and there's something about like somebody else witnessing you saying it. Right. It allowed me to then not have to really talk about it in that detail ever again. Right. It was like Well, that that's how you heal, I think, when you have that safe person, whether it's a therapist, a priest, or brother, or sister, or someone you trust that's gonna let you, you know, I like to say vomit all over them, right? Yeah. And and they let you without judgment, and then they just kind of wrap their arms around you and go, You're gonna be okay. Yeah. I gotcha. Like there's something healing about that, right? When and and that's why a lot of people with PTSD go through EMDR therapy, right? Which helps it take it out of the body and reprocess it in a different way because you went through it for six months. I'm sure you didn't just feel it in your brain, but it was like through your whole body you could feel that. Right. And ⁓ See, and that's what this whole podcast is about, really, is about people's resilience and going through challenges like that and finding the way they healed and then sharing that with the world. And in your case, it's music, right? So let's talk about ⁓ your upcoming album, right? And I love saying that, right? I'm fifty eight years old. I haven't had you know, I say album and my grandkids go, What's that? You know what I mean? Like Rh album, right? This is I know. And I'll be able to show them once I get Sam's new album. I'm gonna go, this is what we listened to when I was a little kid. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And I can't wait to see their eyes are gonna be like, what's that? You know what I mean? But talk about that, Sam, and yeah, right? And the what your album's about and how it's gonna help people heal from whatever they're going through. Yes, absolutely. So the album is called The Tale of Gaia, and Gaia is another word for Mother Nature, Planet Earth, right? And so this whole thing kind of came together and it it really kind of started around the same time. So this project has kind of been in process for maybe four or five years. ⁓ and it wasn't until last year that through working together with Plaid Dog Recording it, which is a studio out in Boston, they help artists do crowdfunding so they're able to pay for the whole album before they go into record it, which was amazing. And they're just the coolest and the best and most lovely human beings. Period. ⁓ so we did six of the nine songs there, and then three of the other songs I did in collaboration with other artists ⁓ throughout the US. And the whole idea for this concept for this album is what is it like to greet Earth with fresh eyes? Right. I feel like we have, especially in the age of AI, in our global consciousness, like I feel like we're really questioning what does it mean to be human. Because humanity and humanness is all of a sudden questionable, right? You see videos on TikTok and you're like, was that a human or was not, right? So our sense of humanity is already questioned. And so this this concept of the album is, you know, what it what would it be like if if a soul came to Earth and it was experiencing the planet for the first time? It was experiencing humanity for the first time. And ⁓ and and then kind of at the same time getting lost in the journey of it. So they get lost and pulled into, you know, all of a sudden they're not just the ⁓ anthropologist, they are pulled into humanity. And ⁓ yeah, so so this it kind of has joy and exploration, but it also has solace. ⁓ there's a song on there called Green Beans that just came out ⁓ last week. Which is ⁓ really a reflection of of the experience that I was talking about and kind of the dark night of the soul. and then also kind of the Phoenix rising from the ashes and the resilience and our interconnectedness to one another. It's right, it's it's the whole experience, right? And ⁓ so yeah, so that's what this is about. And so it's one song at a time is being released until September. I love it, right? Because this world needs some healing, right? I mean, you see it. You I mean we all do, right? Like the crazy with AI now and and like it's sad that when you watch something you you question if that is even real. You know what I mean? Like when I was growing up you saw the news and it was happening at real time, right? And you knew now it's like you question it, was that really like did that really happen or is that somebody trying to right? Yeah. And I I I like to say I like to go back to where it was when we were younger, right? Like You know what? It didn't matter who you were. You you had all your friends on the block, right? You it didn't matter. You just had fun, right? Right. Your parents said, go play, right? In my age group. Go play. The lights come on. Come in for dinner. And then if you're good, you can go out and play a little bit longer. ⁓ But, you know, we all go through stuff. And I'm I'm like, I'm very honored that you're here and grateful, right? Because now I get to Have someone on, you know, the show that's gonna come out with an album that could be healing for someone, right? And for a lot of us, right? When we you know, if you think about it, because you're you we talked about it before, right? Like COVID, I believe messed up a lot of people, right? And and unfortunately, there was nothing we could do about it, but you know, part of it angers me one hundred percent, right? Like, but we won't get into that because it could We might have to do some healing after I'm done talking about that, right? But but it was just sad to hear when you had to hear about people losing family members but couldn't be there for their last you know what I mean? Like heartbreak and I know ⁓ and then hearing, you know, in my case, right in recovery in sobriety, like hearing people, you know, getting cut off from their meetings and having to do Zoom and, you know, some people not knowing how to do technology, you know, relapsed again and not made it back and It's just ⁓ it was just an ugly time, as you know, when it started to the time it ended, and even now. But you know, there's part of me that's glad that they're proving that it was BS pretty much, right? They should have never done it because there was really but that's my humble opinion. Okay. But what I'm getting at though is like you and I have gone through stuff, right? And we found a way to heal ourselves, right? So I I want you to talk about Yeah. ⁓ right. Having your brother in your life who's sounds like he's an awesome person, right? That lets you ⁓ is he big brother or little brother? Little brother. Bigger than me. So, you know, we always say little big brother. Yeah, big brother. But I think that that's such an important point as well. Was like I think so many times we can like go through a hard experience. Right. And then we can like wear that scar or that wound for the rest of our lives. And I think I I also want to, you know, be that voice of saying, You can go through something really hard and you can find your joy again. You can like go through something really hard and like come out stronger, healthier, happier than before. And and I think that that's something that we don't mm see a lot of as well, right? We see a lot of, ⁓ there was this heart and then everything just feels like it gets harder from there. And it's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We can go through something and we can we can heal to the extent that we say, Okay, like I'm actually joyful and balanced and I, you know, like it's not it's not ⁓ it's not a boulder I'm carrying in my backpack. Not at all. Right. Right. Not at all. Right. I and I I love that, right? Because it's true, right? Because I I could stay stuck and angry, right? But who's the one that's not growing? It'll be me, 'cause I'm stuck and everybody's gonna pass me by, right? If I keep up that kind of attitude. So I love that what you just said, 'cause right, someone brought up a point to me and says you never go back to where you were before. You wanna get back to where you were better than where you were before, right? And be like you said, happy, joyful. Right, full of life, ready to take on the next challenge, right? And but there's one thing that I love that you said previously, right? Is that giving back to others, right? Whatever you believe in, right, whether it's the universe, Buddha, God, right, it that's a big part of our own healing, right? Is serving others, right? That's a big yeah. That's a big reason I've over twenty-two years, right? Because There's a part in the book, the you know, there's a part in my program that says the only way I get to stay keep what I have is to give what I have to give away what was so freely given to me. And that, and for me, that's love, compassion, empathy, right? ⁓ and all that stuff, right? Because I remember when I was new and I thought, man, I don't want to be here. But that first hug, even though it was crazy for me, right? The first hug and said, Welcome. Yeah. Was the beginning of my journey. And it was like, wow, man. Nobody was giving me hugs where I was coming from, right? This gotta be good, right? This has gotta be, even though it was weird for me, like, but here I am, right? And I'm having this awesome conversation with you. How does that well you're doing it by ⁓ a new album? Yeah. But let's talk about your everyday like how does that service look like for you? I love that you bring that up, and that's I definitely ⁓ As horrible that as that event was and how sad I am that of course that person is no longer with us and how challenging that was for his family and the community and everything, like do not wish that upon anybody. ⁓ also I acknowledge that there was like demons bigger than him and it was just you know, for all of that love and all of that support, it just ⁓ it it happened and I felt ⁓ I I can say that the compassion and the depth of my understanding and ability to relate to other people now has 1000% deepened as a result of that experience. That I as a result of going through that, I feel like I'm a better friend. I feel more compassionate and more empathetic to people's really hard situations. I feel more deeply connected to being like, ⁓ someone's in a mo even a stranger, you know, the amount of times I've seen someone crying, you know, in the middle of a thing because they're having a panic attack, and just like like going up to them and just hugging a total stranger and saying, Just slow your breathing. And it's like, I don't need your name, I don't need to know your story. We don't have to do anything beyond this. I just see that this is a moment where you need a little bit of grounding and I can recognize that in you and I can show up in that way. I I I like to think of I don't know if you've heard the term ⁓ like light workers. Yeah, I have. Yeah, but it's this i to me th i if there was one thing that resonated, it kind of feels like and I sometimes I'll see it where I'll go to like a like a fair or a festival or a show or whatever. And you and you sometimes will just kind of subconsciously connect to and to me it feels like the light workers in the room where it's just like a little nod or like people that are just there that are like, We're here, we're present, we're like keeping the vibe good kind of thing. And it just kind of I don't know, I'm sure you've experienced that a thousand times, but you're just kind of like, Cool, okay, they're here, cool, they're with it, okay, cool. And just being That's how I really truly like to show up is just being that there was even an experience I remember where I was on the train going ⁓ from a show from South Germany up to like Berlin to do some shows. And I was on the train and I was so excited. Like train travel in Europe is amazing. It had just snowed. I was I was excited. I was looking forward to this for like weeks. I was like four hours on the train. I'm just gonna sit down and look out the window and this is gonna be great. And I sat down in this like little four thing. So there's mine with like a little table. And then then there's the other two. And this guy sits down across from me, like 30 minutes into getting on the train. And he he looked like he was having a really rough day, you know, but he looked like I don't want to ⁓ ascribe or say that I know what the situation was, but he looked a little rough. And I I had this initial thing of like, no. I don't want to get sucked into this situation. Like, why am I here? What is happening? Like, what you know? I was like, should I change my seat? Should I? I was like, I don't want to do this right now. And then I just sat with it and I was like, Sam, stop. And then I just looked around and I realized, ⁓ my God. Maybe he chose to sit here because this was the one seat he felt safe. This was one seat where he felt he wasn't going to be ridiculed. He wasn't going to be judged. He wasn't gonna like, and he passed out. I mean, this guy was like sleeping. And I just thought, ⁓ I don't have to be afraid and I don't have to fear this person. I can just exist as like this safe little hub and just like, hey, you can come and drink water from the watering hole, right? Like here you you can just peacefully catch your breath and like I don't know what the rest of your journey is looking like, and I don't know, and I don't have to. also, you know, get super involved and do ⁓ I don't have to do anything. I can just be here and say you're fine. Right. That's all that it is, you know. I love that see, and that reminds me, I love that saying, be still and know that I am, right? I think it's in the Bible or something, right? But that's why I always ⁓ how do I put it? I always push be kind. Right. Cause you never know what someone's going through. Right. Like even opening the door for someone and letting them, you know what I mean? Like you sometimes you could see their face and they're like, Wow, no one's done that for me all day today. Thank you so you know, you make their day and you don't and like you said, you don't have to go any farther. You just know you get that feeling, that look, and you know that you did the right thing, and you walk off going, Hey, that felt pretty good, right? I'm I don't have to be a jerk or you know what I mean? And Yeah, and I don't have to, you know, because I think some of it is like, especially like as a woman navigating through the world sometimes in situations like in that situation, I'm alone, right? So then you're having this like fear thing of is this person gonna follow me? Is this gonna lead to something if I'm too nice? Are they gonna think that I'm hitting on them? Or you know, and it was just like wait, wait, wait, hold on. I can just be kind and that's it. Like I can have that firm boundary. And also be completely compassionate and kind. Right. Say, Hey, I see you, rest like you're good. And you know, I send you on your journey and I hope that you're I hope that you're well, you know. Right. And and then I I don't believe in coincidences either, right? He sat there in front of you or wherever, right? Because he somewhere in his side, he's inside of him, he said, This is a safe place and I can pass out. And gather myself, right? If that means sleeping in front of this person, I don't even know. Yeah. But you gave them that safe space, right? You didn't give ⁓ a look or like a whatever, like, ⁓ no, get out. You can't sit here. Yeah. ⁓ and you know, in the places like where you live and I live, I mean that happens all the time. People are giving looks. I mean, you you gotta be careful sometimes because then they might take it the wrong way. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like you, right? I don't care who you are. I'm gonna be kind first until you prove me otherwise, right? And right, because I know that like I said, we don't know what someone's going through. They could have just lost a family member. They could have just right, something horrible could have just happened. And if you're kind at that moment, you gave them, like you said, some solace that, okay, in this moment I'm okay because this person, Sam. Let me sit here and pass out. Or Max smiled and said, Have a good day, or whatever the case may be. You know what I mean? And that's how I tr Yes. I was just gonna say that's how I try to live my life on a daily basis. Exactly. Yeah. And that's that's the exact same frequency and the exact same kind of space I intentionally try to create to within live shows and then even within things, you know, posting and and and sharing things online is there's nothing that makes me happier than to look out and see a crowd of completely diverse, different people, different ages, different backgrounds, different everybody together connected to music. And the amount of times you know that I've had someone come up to me and say, ⁓ my gosh, like I felt so welcome. To just sit at your show, right? To be to be here. I felt so okay and so welcome to be in this space. And you're just like, that's amazing. Like, thank you. And thank you for being here. And yes, of course, right? Like that is the that is the goal of to me, it's we all have the right to exist. Period. We all have the right to literally be existing human beings. Whatever that looks like, we all have the right to literally be alive. And it breaks my heart to hear sometimes folks saying, No, these people deserve to exist and these people we'd prefer if they don't exist, right? And it's like, no, no, no, no. How do we have space that we can all exist? Because we can coexist peacefully, lovingly, compassionately. We don't have to be best friends. We don't have to see eye to eye, but we can exist. ⁓ Yeah, so that's the space that's really created within all of this. See, that's why I believe you creatives, you musicians, you artists, whatever, right? Like 'cause I had a guess that by and it's stuck with me ever since and she said or yeah, she said, you know that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Yeah. And when you were mentioning like saying f like when you're performing for a crowd, that takes such That is such a gift to be able to do that, right? Because you are, you're providing a space like 'cause you know, people are in your concerts dancing and they're all high fiving each other. I mean, everyone is getting along, right? Like I've been even, you know, at punk rock concerts where the the people think it's all creep, but no, we're all having a good time listening to these people who have taken the time to learn their craft, right? Even though some people would tell you punk rock is not a craft, but I believe it is. It is. Totally is. Are you kidding me? Yes. That's and ⁓ but you know what I mean? Like you got you artists like yourself, Sam, you give us that space to let us be who we were meant to be at that moment. And that's why I love having these conversations with yeah people like yourself, right, who are out there, you know, with their true intention is make good music, tell a story and help people be able to heal whatever they're going through, right? I mean, all that stuff is good, the money and stuff, but I know like you see, like when I see the lights go on in someone's eyes and they go, I get what you're saying, Max, and I don't ever want to go back. Like you can't put a price on that. Yeah. Like you know what I mean? Like you as an artist, I believe teachers that have the power to mold our little human beings into being good people. They're those are my heroes. You guys are my heroes, right? You know, because you do provide us the space to ⁓ Right, be our authentic self as they talk about and just, you know, let loose and have a good time and you know, listen to some really good music. So thank you for that. ⁓ thank you. Yeah, no, and it's ⁓ you know, I was just gonna say it something that I don't know if we talk about a lot, but like especially in a live show, it is an energy exchange, right? It is this spiritual energy exchange. The band's feeding off the crowd, the crowd's feeding off the band, right? Like it is this interconnected thing and The best example that I can give of this was I went to a show once, unannounced, I didn't tell anybody I was in the I was in the audience, and this ⁓ girl gets on stage, ⁓ who I hadn't seen in like a year, but I was standing in the audience and I just kept thinking, ⁓ my god, I love her. She's so good. It's so nice to see her. I didn't know she was playing tonight. I love you. I love like I just kept thinking that. Right. And she gets off the stage, you know, after doing her three or four songs, and she walks up and I was like, Hi, it's so nice to see you. And then she was like, I was literally in the middle of singing on stage, and your face popped up in my mind. And I was like, Why am I seeing Sam right now? She didn't see me in the crowd. She had no idea I was there. There was he just had this ping, you know, ⁓ Sam's here tonight. That's weird. And then she so when she saw me, she wasn't surprised at all. She was like, ⁓ there you are. But I didn't say it. I didn't yell it out loud. It wasn't like it was just that kind of connection. And I think that's exactly it at a punk ⁓ show, at a metal show, right? Whatever it is. Whatever it is. Salsa show where s d you know, right? It's that exchange of energy that we have with each other, which is why it is such a it's just a powerful gift that we give each other, really. It is. And I think that's what it's all about, is that exchange of energy in such a positive way, right? Like people Like I say, like people I would normally never mix with. I'm in the mosh pit, you know, and we're having fun and or banging my head at a heavy metal concert or singing a s you know one of Sam's songs if I'm you know, when I not if when I go to one of her concerts and go see her. I'm gonna do the same thing. I'm gonna say, Hey Sam, I'm here and I'm gonna say Yeah, we'll have a good time. Yeah, but I love it. This has been a great conversation and I knew it would be so I'm gonna ask ask you the questions that I love to ask and We're gonna start with fearless, right? Going through what you've been through and and you know, being an artist too, right? And and learning your craft and all that stuff. There's challenges in that. Going through what you've been through, what does fearless mean to you today? And how does that show up in your life on a daily basis? To me, fearless is being able to be bad at something. And I think the older we get, the more uncomfortable we come we we we get with that, we're like, no, no, no, I want to become an expert. And I never want to embarrass myself. I never want to make a mistake, right? We think that it's going to but to me, fearless is saying I'm a grown adult and I have these amazing skills and things, but I'm going to make a total muffoon out of myself by learning, you know, so I didn't learn how to play the guitar until like 2020. And I did a lot of shows very secretly because I knew I was going to totally stink. But I was like, that's okay. Like I've I've sung for years. I've done a lot of, you know, songwriting, all this stuff. But I was like, I really want to learn this instrument. And I'm going to be okay with being bad and not knowing what I'm doing. That's okay. ⁓ lived in Germany for a while and ⁓ didn't know how to speak the language. And there's nothing more humbling than being an adult trying to learn a language, you know, in a different foreign country and just being like, You can laugh at me. I know I use the wrong word. That's totally fine. I will, however, figure this out and then eventually, you know, became fluent and did a bunch of things and, you know, still speak and everything to this day. But like that to me is fearless is saying I am okay with potential public humiliation and I'm okay being a beginner with something. Cause I do believe that it will have a long term lasting impact. I love it. I love it. That leads me into our next question, right? Happiness. And you see, I put a why in it. I did that on purpose. I always like to say I did that on purpose. It wasn't a sp a misspell. But no, I put a why in happiness. What does happiness mean to you today, Sam? And how does that show up in your life on a daily basis? Yeah. I think I I've thought a lot about happiness. And I I have a a line in one of the songs ⁓ that I that's not on this album, but from a song I wrote a few years ago. And it was like, what if ⁓ Happiness ain't real, but just a string of moments that we too just feel. And I I sometimes I think about happiness as this idea, like I feel like in our modern society and in this modern, like ⁓ late-stage capitalism marketing kind of thing, we're told that we're supposed to be happy all the time. And drink this and take this and do this and date this person and da-da-da. And you'll be happy. And and I'm like, if I saw somebody That was that happy all the time, I'd be like, you should probably go and talk to someone. That seems a little there seems like there's something a little off, right? So then to me, it's like, okay, there is that that that happiness, but it's like, what is that like underlying like joy and peace and ease and that kind of sense of satiated? So not this like frolicking. through the meadow every single day, although I do frog through a meadow when I see a nice meadow in the springtime. But it's like, what does it look like to have that sustained, you know, deep level of happiness? And that to me just looks like a balanced life. It's like sleeping well, eating well, community, fulfillment, like people you love, people who love you. ⁓ things that bring you joy like your job or or hobbies or different things. It's like the balance of that, I think brings this sustained and kind of almost like a mellow happiness. I love it. I love it. Well, this has been an amazing time, like I knew it would be, Sam. Thank you so much. But you know what I'm gonna get at, right? If people want to get a hold of you, right, or listen to your music, and especially with the new album coming out, how do they get a hold of you? Yeah, I'd say the easiest one stop shop is Samstokesofficial dot com. Just go to the website and that will connect to everything. So it'll have all the music on there, has merch on there, it has social media on there, has YouTube videos, all of it. Samstokesofficial dot com and then you can just find everything you need from them. You heard that everybody. So let's support Sam when this new album comes out and shoot it to the top, as they say. ⁓ You know, this has been a really, really good time. Thank you so much, Sam, and thank you for ⁓ Sticking with me this whole time, right? And ⁓ through our little technical difficulties, but this has been a wonderful time. but you're not quite off the hook just yet. I get to ask you my favorite question that I ask of all my guests, and it goes like this. So, Sam, what is the one piece of advice you could give my audience that helps them grow as human beings and become better people? I love that. Okay, one piece of bias grows unin ⁓ Do one nice thing for someone else every single day. I think if you can live outside of yourself and do something for someone else, one little thing holding the door open, writing a song for someone, calling a friend who's sick, whatever it is, just do one nice thing for somebody else every single day. ⁓ I think that's a really good, good place to start. I love it. Wow, this has been a great time. I love it. No, thank you. Too bad we have to stop. But this has been so much fun. You heard her, everybody. This was an awesome time, right? So if Sam made you think, if Sam taught you something, if Sam made you smile, and my famous, if Sam made you go, Hmm, I like that. Please go to iTunes and leave a five star review so more people can find the podcast. And come join me on my new YouTube channel so you can see Sam and I actually have this awesome conversation. And again, and Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, wherever you are in this world. This is Max and the Fearless Happiness Podcast. Until next time. Are you tired of being weighed down by life's traumas and struggles? Join the Fearless Happiness Lifestyle and let us guide you toward a brighter future. Explore our past podcast episodes and get a copy of the Fearless Happiness book to ignite your inner strength. If you or someone you love is battling addiction or facing challenges related to unresolved trauma, know that we are here for you. Visit maxnas.org, M-A-X. N-I-J-S-T.org and take the first steps toward finding your fearless happiness. Thank you for listening. This has been a production of Fearless Happiness.