Privileged Addict Who Had To Learn The Hard Way with Matt Grace | 256

Max Nijst: wife that insight on what to look for because we are very good at what we do when we're in our disease and manipulating people and we can make you feel like that big when we need to. August 11th is ⁓ the publishing date. So ⁓ awesome. ⁓ well let me ask you these questions and then we'll I'll get into that like where they can find it and all that and you and all that. But let's I'm gonna start with fearless, right? Because you know You and I, when we look back, we were full of fear, right? So this is why I named the podcast the way I did. So fearless, what does fearless mean to you today, Matt? You know, and how does that show up in your life on a daily basis? Fearless means having ultimate faith in some kind of higher power, which I choose to call God. And I ask God every morning to let me live in faith rather than fear. Rather than the paralyzing fear that I had and that I lived with and to ⁓ to do things that maybe make me uncomfortable ⁓ or or that I'm afraid to do, but do it anyway. Right. So fearless is I'll tell you what fearless means to me. ⁓ when I was 16 years sober, I got sick with really sick with COVID. ⁓ and I it it triggered fibromyalgia and I've had a tremendous amount of health problems over the pe over the years. Okay. And that's what I say is is there's gonna come a point You know, people say, well, you know, meetings, this, that, ⁓ hiking. But what happens when you become chronically ill and you can't do anything except stay at home and try to get better? Right. ⁓ one of the best things I heard is that eventually, the only thing standing between me and a drink was God. Because I wanted to die again from the chronic pain that I was living in. I feel terrible for people who have chronic pain and sobriety. Right. And so it's And then I doubled down. I my faith in God even became stronger because I I said, you know what, I'm gonna demonstrate and I'm gonna show the newcomers, I wanna demonstrate to the people who are new in recovery that you can go through anything and come out on the other side. A death of a son, my my one of my best friend's son was murdered and and and he didn't go back out. ⁓ one of my friends lost his wife and son in the same year and he didn't go back out. And What those guys talk about is having faith in something in the universe. One guy like the St. Francis prayer. I love it. Someone else believed in the universe. I guess my point is is they had a belief system and they had faith in something. And in my experience, in 21 years and 10,000 hours of working in the field, the people who have had some kind of faith in something have fared much better than the people who don't believe in anything. Absolutely. I couldn't agree with you 100%. And I'm not I I hope, you know, I some people You know, I'm not trying to sound like a preacher. I'm just trying to share my experience. That there's gonna come a time in your life when the shit hits the fan. Cancer, terminal cancer. I had a guy once say he just came to meetings and said, Okay, God, what am I supposed to learn today? He never complained once. So I feel that these stories are not as represented enough of them as as it should be. I think that there's a misunderstanding that we're these fragile relapse machines. Right. Turn on these movies and televisions, the way that they portray recovery has is is not even remotely close to what brave men and women are doing when they have faith that's behind them. I and we'll talk about that after I I got that's perfect. I love that, right? Let's go to the next question. Okay. Happiness, right? Seeing I put a why in happiness. Going through what you've been through in your addiction and it even in sobriety, right? All the challenges that come with life in general. What does happiness mean to you today? And how does that show up in your life on a daily basis? One hundred percent is service. ⁓ when my father died, and this is really important because ⁓ I want people to listen. ⁓ I will never say that money is not good, right? Money provides security. Right. ⁓ it's very important. Health insurance, ⁓ healthcare stuff, right? Money is essential. However, when I was eleven years sober, ⁓ I bought ⁓ well actually thirteen years, sorry, I bought a brand new nine eleven Porsche of my dream car. Right. I bought a house, I joined a country club, I bought a Rolex, and ⁓ started traveling. And I thought to myself that I have now surrounded myself what society tells me is going to make me feel good. And I don't know whether it's because I'm an alcoholic or someone who already had some recovery. But eight months into owning the car, I sold it. It did absolutely nothing for me. Again, I'm not hating on nine elevens. Right. But happiness to me looks like and again, what changed my life even at fourteen years of sobriety, I started volunteering at a woman's shelter ⁓ for women who have been sex trafficked and abused who come from the worst stories that you've ever heard. It reinvigorated my happiness. I felt plugged in. It changed my perspective because I was always comparing myself to someone what what someone had on their plate. Right. You know, comparing myself, ⁓ the home, the car. And and I can just tell you that being of service to others ⁓ is provides me with the greatest amount of happiness. I love it. I love it. I couldn't agree again, like I said, ⁓ I I agree with you strictly. so much on all that. Like, I mean, you just told my story, right? Not the but service. That's ultimately right. And I even tell a funny story, right? Like when my I worked in that hospital in Newport Beach, my mom lived in a town which without traffic was forty five minutes away, right? But you know in California the traffic on the freeways at five o'clock. Yeah. Yeah. So I had to take the 55 to the 57, which would be a two hour trip, right? And I love telling this story because it's funny, right? Now that I but I got to do it, right? That was one of my one living amends and two. It was what we're talking about is being of service, right? My mom calls me at 4 30 in the afternoon. Right? What are you doing? ⁓ I'm working. And I I know it's coming. She goes, can you come over? My I my I can't feel the TV's not working right. And and right, I'm like, you know, ⁓ you know Yeah, mom will be there. Right. Don't argue. I'm I get on the freeway and I'm cussing her out the whole time there, right? God, I can't believe you made me come, right? I really have a mom. I get to her house, right? And she's like, Hi, ⁓ the T V works. I fixed it. Right. And but, you know, I don't let her know that I cussed her out all the way. I just give her a hug and a kiss. ⁓ cool, mommy, you know, and she goes, Yeah, you want to go out to dinner and get something to eat? And I said I just had to laugh and I go, Mom, if you just want me to come over to take you out to dinner, just tell me. I go, You don't have to tell me. She goes, No, really, the T V didn't work, right? And I'm like, but that's I think about those things, right? And what a gift that was for me to get to do that after all those years of, you know, being a a sh let's say a shitty son, right? And her having to tell me my last time in jail, if you come near my home. I'm gonna call the cops. And if my neighbors see you, they're gonna call the cops. So what are you gonna do? Right. And I'm like, whoa, I don't know. Right. But you know, I this has been such a great time and I can't wait to get your book, right? I'm gonna go pre order it. And ⁓ so that when you come on again, we can talk about that. And I think it's gonna be an eye opener for people and things that I've been preaching about, you know, in this field for many years. But ⁓ So again, remind the audience. I always like to ask, you know, first, where can they get your book? Right. And if they have questions for you, right? Like, hey, I have a family member struggling, and what can I do, Matt? How does my audience get a hold of you? Yeah. So my website is mattgrace.com. ⁓ my email is hello at mattgrace.com. Now I'm still finessing the landing page and I'm working on So people can try to contact me and I can it will be easier to get a hold of. and ⁓ so eventually my my contact page will be more functional. Right. ⁓ but ⁓ there's ⁓ an about me, a bio, and all that stuff. And ⁓ so there's certain links on my website, Barnes and Nobles and Amazon, or you can go to Amazon and Barnes and Noble Books a Million, and it's called God Doesn't Relapse. Okay, I love it. Well, this has been a great time, Matt. I loved it. Every minute and you're bringing back memories for me, both good and bad, when I'm thinking about my addiction, but the good, which mostly good, right? Talking like how you found your spiritual experience, how it came to you and what it's doing for you today. And you know what I mean? Like we have a lot of similarities and but you're not quite off the hook just yet. Right. So I have my f last and favorite question that I asked of all my guests, and it goes like this So, Matt. What is the one piece of advice you could give my audience to help them grow as human beings and become better people? Yeah, I have I have two things. One, connect to something that you're passionate about. It doesn't have to be recovery based, ⁓ a soup kitchen, ⁓ some kind of charity, ⁓ anything to ⁓ find a strike a balance in your life of all the fun you wanna have, if you wanna be super successful, just cut out ⁓ a a couple hours, three hours a month. To to try to be of service ⁓ in something that you're passionate about or something that you care about. And lastly, ⁓ prayer. right. If you're struggling, I I just I know how it's so cliche and but I if you would have ever told me that getting on my knees, I used to say that's the st dumbest thing I've ever heard. My life, I'm a crackhead. Right. Right? I'm I'm ⁓ just a disaster. Like how is getting on my knees gonna change my life? And so if you don't want to get on your knees, I completely understand that to pray. But incorporate some form of prayer, whether it's meditation, ⁓ whether it's ⁓ yoga, ⁓ sound bath I mean, there's so many different things that you can connect with, but try to find to tap into some form of prayer and higher power. I love it. I won't disagree with that. Matter of fact, I approve that message. I love it. I I don't fail, do I? No, this has been an awesome time. I've had so much fun with you and listening to your story and and what you're doing and how you're trying to ⁓ like me break that stigma and you know help the other side. When I call the other side that one you and I agree on, like the enabler side, like how we can change that so that there is better outcomes, whether at a treatment center or Right. One thing about that hospital I told you I worked with. They had a four day we a four day family week. Right? And that's really good. Yeah. And it's a model I love because I saw so much success where the loved ones, you know, got to hear their side, but then the patient got to hear what they did, right? And they couldn't it was just the way they did it. It was it's amazing and it's still going strong all the I mean, they've been in doing this for I want to say 30 plus years now, right? But but you know, I'm grateful because it's led me to conversations like this with with you, right? Like what we do, our service work. So I appreciate you being there. You heard him, everybody. If Matt made you think, if Matt taught you something, if bat Matt made you smile and my famous, if Matt good made you go, hmm, I like that. Please go to iTunes and leave a five star review. Or come join me on my new YouTube channel where you actually get to see Matt and I have this awesome conversation. And again, good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, wherever you are in this world. This is Max from the Fearless Happiness Podcast. Until next time. Are you tired of being weighed down by life's traumas and struggles? Join the Fearless Happiness Lifestyle and let us guide you toward a brighter future. Explore our past podcast episodes and get a copy of the Fearless Happiness book to ignite your inner strength. If you or someone you love is battling addiction or facing challenges related to unresolved trauma, know that we are here for you. Visit maxnates.org, M-A-X-A-N-A-N-A- N-I-J-S-T.org and take the first steps toward finding your fearless happiness. Thank you for listening. This has been a production of Fearless Happiness.